1) THE FIGHT FOR THE FOLEY SEAT – The New York Times has taken reluctant notice of the almost unthinkable – the Republicans are going to hold on to Mark Foley’s seat. Foley’s fill-in, Joe Negron, has run a flawless campaign and has shown himself to be a real pro. His opponent on the other hand, Tim Mahoney, has revealed himself to be a true not-ready-for-prime-time-player who is utterly incapable of taking advantage of the huge opportunity that the Foley Follies presented him with.

The candidates debated last Thursday and I caught the replay on C-SPAN over the weekend. The debate included the presence of one of those weird third party candidates who are oddly omnipresent in this campaign season’s televised tussles. Unlike most third party candidates, the one in the Foley-seat race has a bone to pick with the Democrat, not the Republican. Strangely, she insisted that Tim Mahoney had denied her basic humanity. Mahoney responded by giving a devastated fearful swallow that made me think of Dan Quayle’s non-response after Lloyd Bentsen told him he was no John Kennedy.

Negron’s going to win this race. Mark it down as a Republican hold.

2) MEANWHILE IN MASSACHUSETTS, the gubernatorial candidates met last night for their last televised tussle. This being the Bay State where every embarrassing national trend is amplified and exaggerated, the gubernatorial debates have been marred by the presence of not one but two third-party weirdos.

The Green/Rainbow Party candidate, in particular, never fails to bring a chuckle. Her earnestness combined with her kooky ideas are right from central casting for someone who represents the Green/Rainbow Party. While it is beneath the nature of this blog to mock anyone’s physical appearance, it is my journalistic responsibility to note that she has a gap in her front teeth that reminds this viewer of Leon Spinks. Like the Florida third party person, she also complained at the debate about Republican Kerry Healey’s ongoing failure to treat her as a serious candidate. In a related note, I complained to my next door neighbor this weekend about his ongoing failure to treat me as the Emperor of Siam.

The only thing of interest from last night’s debate for a national audience is that the Democratic nominee (and Nutroots heartthrob) Deval Patrick said that John Kerry should apologize. At that moment, it hit me: John Kerry has officially become political kryptonite! Could it have happened to a nicer guy?

3) ZOGBY! ZOGBY! ZOGBY! - Zogby has released a bunch of new polls! Who cares? Really, who cares what Zogby thinks? I’d care more about my Cairn Terrier’s campaign election predictions.

While we’re on the subject of polls, here’s the thing that some know but few are saying: Our side is going to turn out like it’s a presidential year. The Democrats and unenrolled will turn out like it’s a midterm. You do the math.

Like Hugh, I must disappear for a few hours, but when I return it will be worth the wait. Bowing to popular demand, a John Kerry FAQ is in the works.

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