Democrats must be cursing that damn Karl Rove. How does he do it? From where in the black depths of his soul did he conjure the idea of putting a microphone in front of John Kerry’s mouth during the last week of a campaign season? We all know the truth now, and it is incontrovertible: Karl Rove is one magnificent bastard!

For those of you late to the party, here’s the source of the controversy:

According to the Pasadena Star-News: "Kerry then told the students that if they were able to navigate the education system, they could get comfortable jobs - "If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq," he said to a mixture of laughter and gasps.''

The suggestion that only defective students go to Iraq is manifestly offensive and a needless slur on the troops in Iraq. While Kerry may have been painfully recalling his own experience at Yale where he got 4 D’s during his freshman year and ultimately wound up in Vietnam, there’s nonetheless no excuse for these comments.

I assume if you’re a Democrat, you’d like to see this controversy go away since most people won’t incline to share Kerry’s view that it’s quite cricket to call our soldiers a bunch of dullards. If Kerry were a team player, he would issue a perfunctory apology and let the story die a quick death.

But Kerry is no team player. Never was, never will be. He is once again playing the “Swiftboated” card and his response to the controversy is almost as obnoxious as his original comment. A news release from the Senator’s office reads in part:

Washington – Senator John Kerry issued the following statement in response to White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, assorted right wing nut-jobs, and right wing talk show hosts desperately distorting Kerry’s comments about President Bush to divert attention from their disastrous record:

“If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did…

It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have…

These Republicans are afraid to debate veterans who live and breathe the concerns of our troops, not the empty slogans of an Administration that sent our brave troops to war without body armor.

Bottom line, these Republicans want to debate straw men because they’re afraid to debate real men.

By all means, read the whole thing. The part about Rush Limbaugh making fun of Michael J. Fox is especially on point.

The paragraph I bolded and italicized is particularly telling. John Kerry thinks his service in Vietnam four decades ago means his every comment and action should be beyond reproach. It doesn’t work like that. Ask Duke Cunningham. It’s rather amazing that a man of Kerry’s age and experience has formulated such a simplistic, juvenile and narcissistic worldview.

At a time like this, I think it only appropriate that we thank the Lord that John Kerry is one of the public faces of the Democratic Party. It will truly be a delight watching Democrats who tapped the Kerry fundraising spigot this cycle rush to distance themselves from the Senator as his mouth has put his career and those around him into full-on Chernobyl mode.

What’s the next trick up Rove’s sleeve? An open-ended interview with Howard Dean?

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