After watching one of Katie Couric’s initial broadcasts as anchorette of the Tiffany Network’s nightly newscast, I penned a post called “A Triumph of Perkiness.” Alas, Katie’s days of triumph were short lived. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, CBS is learning an important lesson about the perils of overestimating the power of perkiness:

“CBS executives deny it, but there's a growing feeling within the network that Katie Couric is an expensive, unfixable mistake. So unfixable that Couric - the first woman to anchor a network nightly newscast solo - may leave CBS Evening News, probably after the 2008 presidential elections, to assume another role at the network, CBS sources say.”

Some other choice nuggets from Gail Shister’s report on the impending downfall of the $15 million per year news-reader:

Couric, 50, draws fewer viewers than did avuncular ‘interim’ anchor Bob Schieffer, 20 years her senior.

What does one have to do to become officially avuncular? Anyway, I’ve always considered Schieffer to be more of the grandfatherly type. Regardless, if I had an uncle or a grandfather who persistently peddled shopworn liberal precepts as tenaciously as Schieffer does, I’d skip all family reunions.

"The broadcast is an abject failure, by any measure," says Rich Hanley, director of graduate programs at the School of Communications at Quinnipiac University. “They gambled that viewers wanted a softer, less-dramatic presentation of the news, and they lost. It's not fair to blame Couric for everything, but she's certainly the centerpiece and deserves a fair share."

Ouch. That’s going to leave a mark. Regardless of what some pointy-headed academic says, I liked the part of one of the broadcasts where Katie’s personal commentary wistfully recalled getting her first library card. In actuality, she was wistfully recalling WSJ reporter Jeff Zaslow getting his first library card since her uplifting tidbit was plagiarized almost word-for-word from a Zaslow column, but I still found the whole segment touching in a “Boy, weren’t the 1950‘s keen?” sort of way. (Andrew Ferguson’s dissection of this sorry affair is must-reading, by the way.)

Couric's effervescent personality and expertise with live interviews and ad-libs were perfect for morning TV, particularly over a leisurely two hours. On a 30-minute evening newscast, however, what's required is the ability to read the TelePrompTer and not display too much emotion.

Ha! You need an ability to read a TelePrompTer! Who knew? That’s what Brian Williams must have been referring to when he mentioned the years he spent refining his craft. The fact that these people have the audacity to take themselves seriously never ceases to amaze me.

Let me end with A Personal Note to CBS News: I too can read a TelePrompTer. What’s more, I can do so with any range of emotion you desire. I can give you the full Sarah Bernhardt, a virtual robot and anything and everything in between. And I’d be willing to do so for a lot less than $15 million a year.

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